Happiness Requires Struggle

This quote from the book ‘The Resilience Shield’ by Dr Dan Pronk, Ben Pronk DSC, and Tim Curtis offers a profound truth about happiness. In this context, happiness is not just a fleeting emotion but is linked to fulfilment and flourishing.

Many people struggle to feel lasting happiness because they view it as something tied solely to an outcome—a successful career, more money, or achieving a significant goal. But real happiness isn’t the result of those achievements; it's a by-product of the journey, the hard work, and the effort invested along the way.

Without struggle, the reward loses significance, making it harder to experience true happiness. Take building a successful business as an example. If that business is handed to you, your satisfaction differs from what you’d experience had you started and grown it from scratch. Why? Because genuine happiness stems from overcoming challenges, not just the end result.

This explains why some people reach their goals but feel unfulfilled—they may not have put in enough effort to create the deep sense of accomplishment they desire. When we try to shortcut the process of achieving happiness by avoiding challenges or opting for the easier path, the happiness we experience tends to be temporary. True happiness comes from overcoming difficulties and experiencing growth.

“Without suffering, there is no happiness.” Thích Nhất Hạnh

There is a link between struggle and fulfilment. Reflect on the things you’re most proud of in your life. These achievements likely involved persistence, effort, and moments of difficulty, precisely why they bring you so much joy. Some of my proudest accomplishments—such as a long, successful career, raising children, completing an MBA, building a business, and starting a new life chapter—were challenging and required me to push through doubts and limiting beliefs. Yet, those very challenges are what made the successes so rewarding. As the renowned Buddhist monk Thích Nhất Hạnh beautifully puts it in ‘No Mud, No Lotus: The Art of Transforming Suffering’, “Without suffering, there is no happiness.”

To experience deep fulfilment, we must first embrace the journey, challenges, and all. To cultivate true happiness, you must earn it through effort and persistence. Here are three habits to help you get started on that journey:

Habit 1 – Set small goals and take one step forward at a time.
Start with small, manageable steps. Massive changes can feel overwhelming and unattainable. In Atomic Habits, James Clear emphasises how small habits compound over time. Focus on creating one small habit and stick with it. Before long, that single habit will lead to progress. Once you’re ready, add another habit on top of it. The stacking of these habits will gradually lead to substantial results. Inspire yourself and celebrate each small victory along the way.

Habit 2 – Expect and embrace challenges as part of the process.
Challenges are inevitable, so embrace them. When obstacles arise, dig deep and stay committed to your goal. Commitment is essential—genuinely committed people will do whatever it takes, while those who are merely interested will do what’s easiest. And easy doesn’t lead to the happiness you seek. The more you accept challenges as a part of the journey, the more rewarding the journey becomes.

Habit 3 – Be consistent and persevere through difficulties.
Keep your long-term goals in mind, especially when facing adversity. The greater the challenge, the more satisfying the reward. Stretch yourself beyond your comfort zone. It’s here, in the ‘fear zone,’ that you’ll discover your true potential. Once you embrace discomfort, you’ll move into the ‘learning zone’, which leads to the ‘growth zone’. Growth comes from consistent effort, which ultimately brings lasting fulfilment.