Independence Is Not Doing Everything Alone

Have you ever been in a situation where you knew a decision needed to be made but kept putting it off? You told yourself you needed more time. More clarity. More information. A better moment.

But underneath, you knew the truth.

The decision was not made because it was unclear. It was waiting because it required you to face something.

That is where self-leadership begins. Not when everything feels easy, but when you are willing to take responsibility for the decision you would rather avoid.

Do you recall how you felt?

I have done this many times and recall the feeling of unease.

Delayed decisions often look like procrastination, but beneath the surface, they are usually a self-leadership issue.

Something needs to be faced, owned, or changed.

Tough Decisions

I recall the time when I knew I needed to end a relationship, but I delayed because of the conversations I would need to have and the emotions that would come up. I kept thinking I would make it work. However, I knew it was never going to work, and that I was causing us both pain.

It took a year to decide to end the relationship and finally act on it. When I did, I went from being unhappy and frustrated to feeling free and focused on the future. I got on with living the life I wanted.

I finally started to realise what it felt like to be truly independent.

I used to think independence meant doing everything myself, knowing everything, and controlling everything. I now understand that was not independence. It was isolation masquerading as strength.

In that relationship, I had mistaken carrying it alone for being strong. But real independence required me to be honest, take responsibility, and make the decision I had been avoiding.

I was also hesitant to ask for help because I thought I should already know the answers.

I reconnected with my inner circle friends and learned to listen to and trust others’ thinking. It was still my decision to make; however, through collaboration, I was able to move forward to more possibilities than I ever imagined.

That is the power of interdependence.

Interdependence becomes possible when independent people are willing to think clearly, own their choices, and collaborate without handing over responsibility.

Read more here, starting with From Independence to Interdependence